Dear Misplaced:
No matter what you have gone through in the past, you have rights when it comes to your body. Like me, some of you have experienced situations in which you were sexually abused. If this has happened to you, then I am truly sorry. It is a horrible thing, and I know it all too well.
If you have been reading along, and have read Memory Ten: Leaf Piles, you know that I was coerced by neighborhood bullies into engaging in sexual activity before I even knew anything about sex. It was a very ugly time for me to go through, and I wouldn’t want someone who is vulnerable to go through the same thing. For me, it forever changed how I viewed my own body and sexuality.
Not all sexual abusers and creeps operate in the same manner. For me, I knew them and had played ball with them after school and during summer break for years. Some are direct while others are sneaky about it. They do have one thing in common though; they prey on people they perceive as weak and vulnerable.
They will try and convince you that what is going on is completely “normal” and “natural”. That is just a part of the mind games that they play. Whether you realize it at the time or not, you are being conditioned and indoctrinated. Trust me, it is not a club that you want to join.
Some do join the club though, and it forever changes their view of what healthy relationships are. For me, once I actually figured out what they had done to me, I became angry, and it was justified. I was also ashamed and never talked about it at the time for fear of being labeled or even punished for it. I just knew that I didn’t want to be like them.
If it has happened to you, then tell someone about it; report it. If it hasn’t and someone is trying to groom you; then report that as well. Make them answer for their behavior and live with the consequences. You should not have to bear the consequences alone; both in the moment and going forward. It is a heavy load, and you will have to deal with it at some point, or it will destroy you.
For some who have been abused in this way, they become warped and damaged souls. Some even become abusers themselves because they can’t deal with the shame. In a way, becoming an abuser seems like a natural progression to them. For others, we have chosen to take our pain and use it to fight these monsters and the circle of abuse that they create. Yes, I had a choice to make, and I am hoping that you choose the latter as well.
Until next time – keep safe.
-Patrick
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