Dear Misplaced:
Up to this point in your life, you may or may not be aware of the factors that have shaped you. What you think and how you think are mostly dependent on what you have been exposed to and how you have absorbed it. You are born with a lot of different things. The ability to differentiate between factors that are ultimately good for you and the factors that are ultimately bad for you is not one of them. This ability develops over time as you develop and grow.
A lot of your physical characteristics come genetically from your parents, but there are also factors that are passed down from your parents that are not in shared DNA; those are the culture and norms that you have been exposed to. When you are very young, the people who are tasked with raising you are the very gatekeepers of this exposure. You learn very early what actions are acceptable and forbidden within that “norm culture”. When you are suddenly pulled out of that “norm culture” and are injected into another, it puts you in a state of shock and confusion. Both you and I have this in common.
It is an unenviable task to learn this new “culture norm” all over again. Do you feel awkward and unsure of yourself? It is very difficult to relearn the things that have been taught to you since birth – and that is why you are rebelling. Sound familiar? Me too; but there is an advantage. At some point when you gather yourself, you will come to this realization; you can take some of that old culture with you. You just need to decide what things from your past hold value and which ones don’t. The very experience of becoming is invaluable; and it is called wisdom. Like the old saying, “you have become richer for the experience”. Not everyone is blessed in this way, but what or who determines what is good and what is not. I don’t care what you have been told, everyone has a belief system.
For me, the belief system that I rely upon is based upon my Christian faith and the truths found in the Bible. If you have read any of my aforementioned memories, you know that I was taken out of my birth home at the age of five. From the age five until the age of nine, I struggled to adjust to my new “culture norm”. The people who took me in were not always understanding or fair. I was very angry and rebellious during this time but finding my salvation at nine provided me with that firm foundation to build and develop my belief system. For me, that belief system always stayed the same, and I found that quite comforting in a world that couldn’t seem to make up its mind about what was expected of me. I can only hope and pray that you find the same. Yes, I know that it has been hard, but keep in mind that you are stronger than so many of those around you. Remember, wisdom and experience are your advantages.
With that being said, please be careful when you are in that stage of “becoming”. A lot of things will try to influence and indoctrinate you because when you have not gathered yourself, you are in a very vulnerable state. You are desperately trying to find something or someone to accept you and to believe in. Yes, there are people who seem to be able to spot and prey upon the “misplaced”. That is why so many of the “misplaced” have found comfort in very temporary or false fixes. I honestly believe that this is why there are so many of us who make it thorough into adulthood with substance addictions. Know that IS Good and not what just FEELS good. It can cost you your body, mind, and soul. Be strengthened by your experience and not compromised. YOU ARE WORTH MORE, so don’t sell yourself so cheaply.
Until next week, retain your value.
-Patrick
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