Dear Misplaced:
As you age and mature as I did, you will learn about personal responsibility. To a certain point, you have dealt with the challenges of grief and adapting. It’s a chaotic process filled with a wide range of emotions and certainly some like us have gotten lost there. Of all the advice that I have to offer you, this is the most important.
The mispalced who are stuck in the grief and adaptation cycle unfortunately never leave that place and they indeed are miserable there. It’s an easy place to stay because it takes absolutely no effort to get there. Moving forward is difficult, but it is the necessary next step in your journey.
I am not saying that you can ignore the past as it is very much a part of you, but staying in a mindset of victimhood serves no good purpose. It may be a convenient excuse, and some people may understand your behavior to a point, but you know better and so do I. We know right from wrong; good from bad and what flies and what doesn’t.
Have people wronged you? Forgive them. Not so much for their sake but for your own. They have taken enough from you, so stop giving them the space in your head. Can the relationship be salvaged? Fine. If not, find peace and move on. You are worth more than that.
Not to trivialize what has happened but realize that you have been given a gift. You are stronger because you have survived it. You also have the ability to adapt; and trust me, in this world, it is important to be able to adjust to change. You are, in a lot of ways, ahead of the curve in so many areas that you haven’t even seen yet. Use it to your advantage.
The world ahead of you will hold many challenges but let your heart not be troubled; you’ve got this. I made it through and so will you; a little scarred maybe but better for the experience.
Keep fighting the good fight…
-Patrick
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