Dear Misplaced:
Briefly, as a young child, I felt it; inner peace. I honestly believe that this is truly when one is happy. A calmness in both mind and spirit. I also know what it feels like to lose mine. In a moment my life changed from peace to turmoil. I think that anyone who is torn from their family knows these two, very opposite feelings a little too well. I not only missed the familiarity of my birth family, but the feeling of completeness that I felt when I was with them. I am that you can relate.
Even if that place where we found our inner peace was less than ideal, we had learned to accept and appreciate it. As a young child, I wasn’t concerned so much about being rich or poor, as my peace was not dependent on class or possessions. My basic physical needs were met, and I knew what it was like to love and be loved. My demands were minimal but non-negotiable. When that was taken away, I was angry, hurt, and frustrated. I have no doubt that you have experienced these same emotions. I know that they are very real and very valid; even if you can’t quite put your finger on why you are feeling them. You are not alone. At the very core of your being, you feel something very precious has been taken from you, and you just want it back. It is your peace that you seek, and you are more than entitled to get it back.
The new adults in your life might be frustrated with you. Most of them mean well and are only trying to help, but most of them cannot empathize with you. Unless they have lived through the same exact things, how could they possibly know? Fair is fair and you might want to cut them slack, so that they can catch up with you.
Once you have lost your peace, it is not an easy thing to find again. For me, my early conversion to Christianity, set me on a path that eventually led me there, but it has taken most of my lifetime to be at peace with things again. What I have learned, I am hoping will get you to your peace a little sooner.
It may shock you to know, but your peace is not dependent upon anyone else but you. The world is full of evil and injustice; it’s not fair, and it never will be. Certainly, there are people in the world who do good things as well, but they don’t always succeed by the world’s standards. Their victories come from within, even if they may not seem to be winning to others. Their goals and motivations are not the same as most, and they will most likely be the ones that see the potential for good in you.
You will meet a lot of people on your path to inner peace; all will contribute something of value to you. Some you will like and try to emulate; others you will not like and will serve as lessons of what not to emulate. Remember my earlier message about adopting a moral code? Where there is no inner conflict about what is ultimately good and ultimately evil, then there is peace. No anxiety. No anger. No Frustration. Just peace.
Until next time – may you find peace and may peace find you.
-Patrick